What I’m Learning Wednesday: Don’t think too much

Yeah, I know, it doesn’t sound like me. I’m definitely not sorry that I’m the kind of person who thinks about things. A lot. A lot-lot. If I’m honest, I really believe the T for Thinking in my Myers-Briggs type is one of my superpowers. (INTJ, FWIW, TYVM.)

I’m good at seeing the big picture and the pros and cons without being (too) clouded by emotions. I make decisions relatively quickly and with clarity.

But.

Now and then I get stuck in a thinking loop, especially about taking actions that require a financial commitment and/or people-ing. (I also love being an Introvert… but sometimes life does require people-ing, and I have to gear myself up for it.)

The thinking loop comes when I want to make the right decision, the smartest decision, and use my resources (financial or energetic) in the wisest way. These aren’t bad things, but they can be debilitating.

The thinking loop also comes when I’m feeling fearful about doing something wrong or wasteful, or not being good enough or acting rightly enough. These are also not bad things. But they are also debilitating.

The loop comes when the puzzle itself is truly unsolvable, but I continue to believe that if I could just FIGURE IT OUT, all would be well. It’s not that I believe I’m so brilliant that I can solve unsolvable problems… it’s that deep down, I believe the problem isn’t the problem–but that I’m just not applying myself.

The cost of thinking.

Today I signed up for an online writing conference I’ve been thinking about since it was announced last month. I’ve been on a thinking loop about it:

Is it worth it? If I spend this money will it actually help me be a real writer? Do I even want to be a real writer, it sure seems like a lot of work? But this is what I opened the Etsy shop for, so I could afford things like this. But if I become a writer I’m going to have to start marketing and OMGosh I’ll have to do advertising and that’s even more spending and then if I actually make money I’ll have to figure out how to deal with taxes and that’s a whole thing. And anyway why would anybody read anything I write when there are so many better people out there writing really good stuff all the time? I would rather read them than read me!

Rinse and repeat.

A month of that. Seriously.

Sometimes being a T is a superpower, sometimes it’s exhausting.

And sometimes it’s expensive. Being on that loop for the past month cost me an extra $60 when I finally signed up for the conference this morning. I looped myself right out of the early registration discount.

The true cost.

But the real cost of getting stuck in the thinking loop is that I may miss going where the Spirit is leading. My concern over spending foolishly, my hesitance to engage, and my desire to take the best action keep me from investing (both with money and in people). Trying to think through all these concerns keeps me from speaking out, standing up, and moving forward.

It can be difficult to discern when the right move is listening and learning, and when it is going and doing.

Probably some people’s instinct is to Go and Do, and they need to learn the balance of being quiet and thoughtful. As for me, I know I’m in danger of being so quiet that I never say anything. Being so thought-full that I never do anything.

I guess $60 is a small price to pay for this lesson. I hope I get my money’s worth.

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